WELCOME TO BIGSTEAMY.COM
GO WASTE YOUR TIME SOMEPLACE ELSE WHILE WE GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER.
Do Facebook or yoga or whatever it is you think you should do but leave us alone! you hear me? leave.
we're not ready.
don't rush us.
just go away.
but then come back.okay?
come back when we're ready? we have so much to show you!
I don't know where to begin. i guess you could hang out while we work. just sit here and i can get you something to drink. coke? water? coffee? what's that? tomato juice? no. no, we don't have tomato juice. i'll make coffee and if you want a water, it's in the fridge. my fridge. oh yeah. fuck. that's right. you're where ever you are. where are you? oh shit. hella close. we should hang out. like just chill while i work and i'll get this thing going. okay? okay. but also, you can't keep asking questions. quiet like a mouse. while i work here. just gotta get the -- okay, got it! now i just need to twist these nobs here. just twist twist twist. turn and whew. done with that part. so, what have you been up to? really? weird. so weird. yeah. i heard of those. those are cool. i saw those on television one night in like 87' maybe 88' i dunno but the chargers were on television and i had popcorn in my underwear and somebody had melted my dumb old snickers bar between the couch cushions. it made a big mess and i got yelled at and then i accidentally kicked a hole in the wall -- cheap ass quarter inch sheetrock and you know what a bitch that can be. so anyways, i kick this hole in the wall and freak my mom the fuck out because she'd just done the wallpaper in the hallway. she was pissed. but not as pissed as she was when i set off a bunch of fireworks in my bedroom, right after she had new white carpet installed. what a dumb idea anyway. white carpet? with kids? stupid.
so. what do you do for work?
oh shit. really? my uncle is asshole too. yeah. total dick. right. so we shunned him. he lives on a leper colony in the san pablo bay. its run by dominicans priest or something. or samoans? maybe. my uncle lived next door to a samoan family. they were hella cool. this was a different uncle. not a dick. he was gangster as fuck. but like old school mafioso gangster. when he got sick, right before he died, they took care of him, taking him to doctors appointments and shit like that. he was pretty good sized fella but these samoans would swing his old ass around and get him into the car without much effort. these are a strong people, for sure. so anyways.
what now? what should we do?
hang out some more or should get going? or do you wanna hear more? i'm pretty tired of writing. so, let's call it a day. a night. whatever. wherever.
until next time.